Thank you, Louisa. This essay is packed with personal insights and wisdom.
Like you, I don't share the binary right or wrong view of how to feel our feelings. As our life experiences are unique, so too are our emotion-constructs (Ref. Prof Lisa Feldman Barrett).
As Rev Ben Perry says in his book, we are often quick to leap to judgment instead of letting our feelings be felt or our tears fall, in ourselves or in others.
I'll be re-reading this piece, there are several threads that resonate - esp about the work environment. I agree there is a 'deeply rooted belief that emotions get in the way of logical thinking, and therefore may impede productivity.' especially in large corporate organisations.
However, times are changing, small evolutions e.g. Susan David's reclassification of soft skills to essential leadership skills. Also, change is happening faster in start-ups and SMEs. I'm hopeful.
Such profound reflections and wonderful references to Prof Barrett and Rev. Perry. Thank you!
It's fascinating to read about changes in the workplace. I'd love to hear more. At my work, there are EIGs and one that's especially designed for caregivers -- members help encourage and support one another. I've joined it and plan to engage more in the future.
There’s also something called Emotional Release Therapy which a kind of bodywork where they touch “doors” on your body and you basically just cry into a bucket the entire time. I was amazed. I would like to do it more, honestly, when I get the nerve. Usually I find difficult to cry because if never quite feels like the time or place. But they say that is how the tears get stored up in the body in the first place.
Ooooh! How interesting! Thanks for sharing the name of this therapy. I'm curious and will look into it. Could be really helpful for me. I totally believe that our emotions/tears are stored in the body, as Bessel van der Kolk said in his book "The Body Keeps the Score." I remember a good old friend of mine telling me how her clients often burst into tears during her Body Works sessions.
Louisa, I so appreciate you sharing the benefits and importance of a "complete" cry. You're helping me realize that that is what I experienced the other day -- and it was really helpful.
I thought my dog was dying, so I canceled my plans for the afternoon and just sat with him, petting him and weeping until I was all cried out. I actually had come to a point of acceptance that maybe this was the end ... and that I would be ok. After about 4 hours, he lifted his head and got up ... we're still trying to figure out what happened ... but I have been surprised at how I'm able to be realistic about what might come next and not at all as anxious as I would have expected. Maybe it's because I allowed myself that complete cry ... ?
I can't remember the last time I just gave into the tears like that. Maybe, as you said, it should be pay of a wellness routine.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and sparking new thoughts!
Wow, Sarah, your experience was really amazing! It seemed as if your crying a complete cry helped you process and release the full range of complex emotions sitting inside your body. Looking back, I also had that experience of acceptance after giving my grief a complete cry. I think your choice of words "gave into the tears" is really interesting! It sounds like a complete surrender to your emotions, and in that surrender to the part of us that represents deep knowing, perhaps we can transcend the fear that stops us from getting intimate with our inner voice and inner being. Perhaps, also, that crying actually helps with our anxiety? All of this is fascinating. Thanks for sharing in such a vulnerable way! My heart is with your beloved dog! xo
Thank you, Louisa! My pup is doing ok at the moment. ♥️
I love this observation of yours:
"... in that surrender to the part of us that represents deep knowing, perhaps we can transcend the fear that stops us from getting intimate with our inner voice and inner being. Perhaps, also, that crying actually helps with our anxiety?"
From my recent experience, I think you are onto something. After all, how can we listen to that inner voice ... get feedback and wisdom from it ... when we aren't being honest with it?
Love this conversation. And I appreciate your wisdom!
I'm very glad to hear your dog is doing OK at the moment! Perhaps your tears and compassion was healing for him! ♥️
I'm touched by your reflection of your recent experience. I think that a complete cry is only possible when we connect with the innermost part of ourselves with full honesty.
I appreciate our conversation, too. It's marvelous to dive deeper and deeper into our truths.
Thank you Louisa, you've had some important realizations and they inspire me to think about my own causes and effects when it comes to emotional expression.
I love the idea of a crying room. It reminds me of the Rage Room trend or the "screaming into the void" meet ups that moms organized during the pandemic. Normalizing and creating space for emotional expression.
I also like the idea of crying as a part of your wellness routine. I still struggle with how to evoke the tears that aren's coming out on their own.
I appreciate your comment, Anna. Thank you! I've heard of the Rage Room and was tempted to try it at one point, when I had overwhelming anger pent up inside.
"Normalizing and creating space for emotional expression." Indeed! We are doing it by writing about our experience and putting it out in the open.
Regarding the idea of crying as my wellness routine, I think it's like meditation -- the way I approach it, is that I do it when I need it or feel like it, but I don't force myself to do it like I used to in the past. It was too regimented and it created tension some days instead of relaxation.
I have a lot less tears nowadays and I think that allowing my rightful anger to come out without injuring any living being has helped me to balance out my tears.
Thank you, Louisa. This essay is packed with personal insights and wisdom.
Like you, I don't share the binary right or wrong view of how to feel our feelings. As our life experiences are unique, so too are our emotion-constructs (Ref. Prof Lisa Feldman Barrett).
As Rev Ben Perry says in his book, we are often quick to leap to judgment instead of letting our feelings be felt or our tears fall, in ourselves or in others.
I'll be re-reading this piece, there are several threads that resonate - esp about the work environment. I agree there is a 'deeply rooted belief that emotions get in the way of logical thinking, and therefore may impede productivity.' especially in large corporate organisations.
However, times are changing, small evolutions e.g. Susan David's reclassification of soft skills to essential leadership skills. Also, change is happening faster in start-ups and SMEs. I'm hopeful.
Such profound reflections and wonderful references to Prof Barrett and Rev. Perry. Thank you!
It's fascinating to read about changes in the workplace. I'd love to hear more. At my work, there are EIGs and one that's especially designed for caregivers -- members help encourage and support one another. I've joined it and plan to engage more in the future.
There’s also something called Emotional Release Therapy which a kind of bodywork where they touch “doors” on your body and you basically just cry into a bucket the entire time. I was amazed. I would like to do it more, honestly, when I get the nerve. Usually I find difficult to cry because if never quite feels like the time or place. But they say that is how the tears get stored up in the body in the first place.
Ooooh! How interesting! Thanks for sharing the name of this therapy. I'm curious and will look into it. Could be really helpful for me. I totally believe that our emotions/tears are stored in the body, as Bessel van der Kolk said in his book "The Body Keeps the Score." I remember a good old friend of mine telling me how her clients often burst into tears during her Body Works sessions.
Louisa, I so appreciate you sharing the benefits and importance of a "complete" cry. You're helping me realize that that is what I experienced the other day -- and it was really helpful.
I thought my dog was dying, so I canceled my plans for the afternoon and just sat with him, petting him and weeping until I was all cried out. I actually had come to a point of acceptance that maybe this was the end ... and that I would be ok. After about 4 hours, he lifted his head and got up ... we're still trying to figure out what happened ... but I have been surprised at how I'm able to be realistic about what might come next and not at all as anxious as I would have expected. Maybe it's because I allowed myself that complete cry ... ?
I can't remember the last time I just gave into the tears like that. Maybe, as you said, it should be pay of a wellness routine.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and sparking new thoughts!
Take care, Louisa.
Wow, Sarah, your experience was really amazing! It seemed as if your crying a complete cry helped you process and release the full range of complex emotions sitting inside your body. Looking back, I also had that experience of acceptance after giving my grief a complete cry. I think your choice of words "gave into the tears" is really interesting! It sounds like a complete surrender to your emotions, and in that surrender to the part of us that represents deep knowing, perhaps we can transcend the fear that stops us from getting intimate with our inner voice and inner being. Perhaps, also, that crying actually helps with our anxiety? All of this is fascinating. Thanks for sharing in such a vulnerable way! My heart is with your beloved dog! xo
Thank you, Louisa! My pup is doing ok at the moment. ♥️
I love this observation of yours:
"... in that surrender to the part of us that represents deep knowing, perhaps we can transcend the fear that stops us from getting intimate with our inner voice and inner being. Perhaps, also, that crying actually helps with our anxiety?"
From my recent experience, I think you are onto something. After all, how can we listen to that inner voice ... get feedback and wisdom from it ... when we aren't being honest with it?
Love this conversation. And I appreciate your wisdom!
I'm very glad to hear your dog is doing OK at the moment! Perhaps your tears and compassion was healing for him! ♥️
I'm touched by your reflection of your recent experience. I think that a complete cry is only possible when we connect with the innermost part of ourselves with full honesty.
I appreciate our conversation, too. It's marvelous to dive deeper and deeper into our truths.
Thank you Louisa, you've had some important realizations and they inspire me to think about my own causes and effects when it comes to emotional expression.
I love the idea of a crying room. It reminds me of the Rage Room trend or the "screaming into the void" meet ups that moms organized during the pandemic. Normalizing and creating space for emotional expression.
I also like the idea of crying as a part of your wellness routine. I still struggle with how to evoke the tears that aren's coming out on their own.
I appreciate your comment, Anna. Thank you! I've heard of the Rage Room and was tempted to try it at one point, when I had overwhelming anger pent up inside.
"Normalizing and creating space for emotional expression." Indeed! We are doing it by writing about our experience and putting it out in the open.
Regarding the idea of crying as my wellness routine, I think it's like meditation -- the way I approach it, is that I do it when I need it or feel like it, but I don't force myself to do it like I used to in the past. It was too regimented and it created tension some days instead of relaxation.
I have a lot less tears nowadays and I think that allowing my rightful anger to come out without injuring any living being has helped me to balance out my tears.