Louisa, it's great to have you back writing. Your voice and perspective are valuable and informative. Thank you for sharing your personal story. I appreciate it.
I'll return to this essay and read the articles you've linked.
All of this was so relatable. It was heartbreaking to see what happened in Hong Kong and it's heartbreaking to live through what's happening now. My mother's beliefs seem similar to your mother's, and it's tough. Solidarity.
Thank you for your reflecting back to me how my experience and feelings were relatable to you. What happened in Hong Kong was indeed heartbreaking! And it's retraumatizing to live through what's happening now.
Re: your mother's beliefs, did you ever feel a sense of betrayal by your own family? I did, right after the election, and became so depressed that it took me a few months before I could even speak with my mom.
Solidarity with you, and with everyone who feels alone in this kind of weird betrayal in their own family or community--on top of everything else!
Louisa, what a brilliant, incisive, open-hearted and generous article. You have a unique perspective and I am so glad you shared it with your readers. Your warnings about totalitarianism are very much needed. And I loved all your ways of returning to calm especially your crystal bowl and tea ceremony. I just may have to try that ritual myself.💗
Thank you for this perspective and for sharing Tanmeet's note as well. Couldn't agree more with all of it. As a white woman, I have experienced both oppression (as a woman) and privilege (being white). I am keenly aware of the privilege part, especially since I was privileged enough to be able to move out of the U.S. last March.
My husband I moved to Portugal partly because I saw the writing on the wall while living in Florida and watching our purple state (gerrymandered into red) elect an "anti-woke" fascist (DeSantis). I saw the damage he did to our state in just 2 years and knew if Drumpf got elected, the rest of the U.S. wouldn't be far behind in creating laws that hurt marginalized groups (See Florida's "Don't Say Gay" law, abortion ban, and removal of all school/library books and classes at Universities that are women-focused or involve any POC, DEI, or CRT).
We have 2 kids, both still in college in the U.S. and one big reason we moved to Portugal was to give our 19yo daughter a place she can escape to if she needs to get out of the U.S. quickly (again--privilege). In my most recent Substack post, I talk about this and how I wake up every day and check the news to see, "Is today the day they limit travel for women? Did I wait to long to move her here?"
I was a political activist and volunteer my whole life, and these days it feels like all that energy was for nothing. I so wish I could've done more to make things different for everyone who cannot leave.
Hi mindful migrant, thank you for stopping by and giving my article a read. Thank you even more for sharing your experience. You saw the writing on the wall and got out fast--the timing couldn't be better. I was in Florida a few times in the past few years and have understood the damages done by DeSantis. Your motivation to move abroad reminds me of what my parents did. They left China and Hong Kong for the sake of their children's future.
It can really be demoralizing after having been a political activist your whole life and then to see what the country has turned into. But political forces that involve nefarious manipulation, psych ops and foreign intervention (particularly Russian) have actually gone on for decades outside of ordinary citizens' radars. They are insidious. So much is out of our control. We can only do the best we can at any given time.
I hope you and your family will live a full life in Portugal and enjoy what we cannot enjoy here in the States.
Wow, Louisa, you captured so well some of what I've been feeling lately! So appreciate your sharing your experience and your self-care habits. All inspiring and adds hope into our world... what we all need in this moment!
Hey Fenny, thanks for your reflections. It always makes me feel less alone when someone tells me that what I write mirrors their thoughts and feelings. I think the fate of your and my hometown, and now of the U.S., are closely intertwined. All my life, I have been paying close attention to your hometown and always pray that it will withstand authoritarian encroachment. I believe that there are more people in the world who stand for justice and humanitarianism. A small minority of very sick people want to crush the will and spirit of the majority in the world. Let's not let them!
Have you ever heard the song 明天會更好? It was my favorite song when I was in high school and it inspired me to keep my faith in tomorrow.
In order to answer your questions/request for feedback, this will necessarily be long.
I’m a US citizen living abroad. I came here in 2015 when I was 70, between the election and inauguration. Not because of Trump but to meet someone I knew only through letters we exchanged. I returned to the US, sold everything, and went back to her. We married there where we’ve lived ever since. I haven’t been back to the US since pre-pandemic and now, because of my health, never will again.
I’ve always followed national and int’l news closely and still do despite the time & distance between here and there. To my increasing detriment. So, how have I coped? Poorly until the last say 2 months when on impulse, I bought a book I’d been curious about since hearing it discussed in glowing terms. Tao Te Ching, John Minford’s translation of Lao-Tzu is supplemented by his commentary and numerous passages and paraphrases from other translators & historic sources. It is rich and dense and slow because invites or even demands concentration and then, contemplation. It leaves me grounded enough to feel safely distant and detached from the catastrophic US and world news I still follow closely.
My experience of leaving the US? Despite a peripatetic work life with several 1-5 week international trips, despite being well educated and informed, culture shock is the best answer for me. In so many ways things little and large are done differently ‘than we’ and seem inconvenient or easier or inefficient or incomprehensible or clever or whatever.
Life is very different in big, important ways too. Oligarchical families and political dynasties control the country. The gov’t is corrupt. Poverty is widespread. Public education is poor even by regional standards which are quite modest. Etc. Such things are a given here, others distinctive and thankfully, globally less common. There are religious zealots of the sort who bomb churches and behead kidnap victims whose families don’t pay enough. Not to mention the rebels interminably at war with the government. Such realities produce profoundly different social circumstances, some quite inconvenient.
But her large,helpful, protective extended family of siblings and their families is here. (We both are childless so enjoy their proximity.) We live with 11 of them and can support all of us with my monthly SSS checks. (Yes, I really worry about that $ with Musk and Trump both armed, dangerous, and on the loose.) The people here are resilient, resourceful, and quick to laugh at misfortune and disaster.
In short, I have learned and gained and grown because of being here. My wife is very different from me and splendid and wonderful. She has taught me a lot. Life is much more difficult but it is a good life nonetheless. It is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself and, honestly, for others. Yes, even now I miss many things about the US, most of all dear old friends, but I have no regrets whatsoever.
Thank you, Max, for sharing your story and your perspective as an American expat in the Philippines. You seem to have overcome the culture shock, adapted and living happily with your wife there. It's really wonderful that you have a warm and welcoming extended family who accept you as their own and have become your pillars of support.
Louisa, it's great to have you back writing. Your voice and perspective are valuable and informative. Thank you for sharing your personal story. I appreciate it.
I'll return to this essay and read the articles you've linked.
Thank you so much, Paulette! I appreciate seeing you again and hearing your acknowledgement. I hope you're taking good care in these difficult times.
All of this was so relatable. It was heartbreaking to see what happened in Hong Kong and it's heartbreaking to live through what's happening now. My mother's beliefs seem similar to your mother's, and it's tough. Solidarity.
Thank you for your reflecting back to me how my experience and feelings were relatable to you. What happened in Hong Kong was indeed heartbreaking! And it's retraumatizing to live through what's happening now.
Re: your mother's beliefs, did you ever feel a sense of betrayal by your own family? I did, right after the election, and became so depressed that it took me a few months before I could even speak with my mom.
Solidarity with you, and with everyone who feels alone in this kind of weird betrayal in their own family or community--on top of everything else!
Yes, I know what you mean. It's tough. Reading about your experience made me feel a little less alone, at least—thank you for putting it out there.
You're welcome, Kristin! It's essential that we band together so we feel less alone in these extraordinary times.
Louisa, what a brilliant, incisive, open-hearted and generous article. You have a unique perspective and I am so glad you shared it with your readers. Your warnings about totalitarianism are very much needed. And I loved all your ways of returning to calm especially your crystal bowl and tea ceremony. I just may have to try that ritual myself.💗
Thank you, Amy, for spending time with my article and giving me the encouragement I need to share such vulnerable topics with my readers.
I'm glad my morning rituals inspired you. I hope you will give the crystal bow and tea ceremony a try!
Keep sharing & I will raise my contemplative cup of tea 🫖 to you my dearest!💗
Thank you for this perspective and for sharing Tanmeet's note as well. Couldn't agree more with all of it. As a white woman, I have experienced both oppression (as a woman) and privilege (being white). I am keenly aware of the privilege part, especially since I was privileged enough to be able to move out of the U.S. last March.
My husband I moved to Portugal partly because I saw the writing on the wall while living in Florida and watching our purple state (gerrymandered into red) elect an "anti-woke" fascist (DeSantis). I saw the damage he did to our state in just 2 years and knew if Drumpf got elected, the rest of the U.S. wouldn't be far behind in creating laws that hurt marginalized groups (See Florida's "Don't Say Gay" law, abortion ban, and removal of all school/library books and classes at Universities that are women-focused or involve any POC, DEI, or CRT).
We have 2 kids, both still in college in the U.S. and one big reason we moved to Portugal was to give our 19yo daughter a place she can escape to if she needs to get out of the U.S. quickly (again--privilege). In my most recent Substack post, I talk about this and how I wake up every day and check the news to see, "Is today the day they limit travel for women? Did I wait to long to move her here?"
I was a political activist and volunteer my whole life, and these days it feels like all that energy was for nothing. I so wish I could've done more to make things different for everyone who cannot leave.
Hi mindful migrant, thank you for stopping by and giving my article a read. Thank you even more for sharing your experience. You saw the writing on the wall and got out fast--the timing couldn't be better. I was in Florida a few times in the past few years and have understood the damages done by DeSantis. Your motivation to move abroad reminds me of what my parents did. They left China and Hong Kong for the sake of their children's future.
It can really be demoralizing after having been a political activist your whole life and then to see what the country has turned into. But political forces that involve nefarious manipulation, psych ops and foreign intervention (particularly Russian) have actually gone on for decades outside of ordinary citizens' radars. They are insidious. So much is out of our control. We can only do the best we can at any given time.
I hope you and your family will live a full life in Portugal and enjoy what we cannot enjoy here in the States.
Thanks much. We’re all just doing our best.
Wow, Louisa, you captured so well some of what I've been feeling lately! So appreciate your sharing your experience and your self-care habits. All inspiring and adds hope into our world... what we all need in this moment!
Hey Fenny, thanks for your reflections. It always makes me feel less alone when someone tells me that what I write mirrors their thoughts and feelings. I think the fate of your and my hometown, and now of the U.S., are closely intertwined. All my life, I have been paying close attention to your hometown and always pray that it will withstand authoritarian encroachment. I believe that there are more people in the world who stand for justice and humanitarianism. A small minority of very sick people want to crush the will and spirit of the majority in the world. Let's not let them!
Have you ever heard the song 明天會更好? It was my favorite song when I was in high school and it inspired me to keep my faith in tomorrow.
Absolutely outstanding piece. We are living in terrifying times.
Thank you, Ali, for being here. I appreciate your support. And yes, these are truly terrifying times!
Hello from afar.
In order to answer your questions/request for feedback, this will necessarily be long.
I’m a US citizen living abroad. I came here in 2015 when I was 70, between the election and inauguration. Not because of Trump but to meet someone I knew only through letters we exchanged. I returned to the US, sold everything, and went back to her. We married there where we’ve lived ever since. I haven’t been back to the US since pre-pandemic and now, because of my health, never will again.
I’ve always followed national and int’l news closely and still do despite the time & distance between here and there. To my increasing detriment. So, how have I coped? Poorly until the last say 2 months when on impulse, I bought a book I’d been curious about since hearing it discussed in glowing terms. Tao Te Ching, John Minford’s translation of Lao-Tzu is supplemented by his commentary and numerous passages and paraphrases from other translators & historic sources. It is rich and dense and slow because invites or even demands concentration and then, contemplation. It leaves me grounded enough to feel safely distant and detached from the catastrophic US and world news I still follow closely.
My experience of leaving the US? Despite a peripatetic work life with several 1-5 week international trips, despite being well educated and informed, culture shock is the best answer for me. In so many ways things little and large are done differently ‘than we’ and seem inconvenient or easier or inefficient or incomprehensible or clever or whatever.
Life is very different in big, important ways too. Oligarchical families and political dynasties control the country. The gov’t is corrupt. Poverty is widespread. Public education is poor even by regional standards which are quite modest. Etc. Such things are a given here, others distinctive and thankfully, globally less common. There are religious zealots of the sort who bomb churches and behead kidnap victims whose families don’t pay enough. Not to mention the rebels interminably at war with the government. Such realities produce profoundly different social circumstances, some quite inconvenient.
But her large,helpful, protective extended family of siblings and their families is here. (We both are childless so enjoy their proximity.) We live with 11 of them and can support all of us with my monthly SSS checks. (Yes, I really worry about that $ with Musk and Trump both armed, dangerous, and on the loose.) The people here are resilient, resourceful, and quick to laugh at misfortune and disaster.
In short, I have learned and gained and grown because of being here. My wife is very different from me and splendid and wonderful. She has taught me a lot. Life is much more difficult but it is a good life nonetheless. It is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself and, honestly, for others. Yes, even now I miss many things about the US, most of all dear old friends, but I have no regrets whatsoever.
Thank you, Max, for sharing your story and your perspective as an American expat in the Philippines. You seem to have overcome the culture shock, adapted and living happily with your wife there. It's really wonderful that you have a warm and welcoming extended family who accept you as their own and have become your pillars of support.
Yes, I’m a lucky guy though it took a long time, & a number of false starts, to find luck. 🙏🏼 (and keep on writing, please)
“Patience brings the rose.” It paid off!
I’m going to keep writing as much as I can. Thanks for your support!