Welcome to Lily Pond!

First-time visitors: Start here

Hello! If this is your first visit to Lily Pond, welcome! At the Pond, you’ll find topics at the intersection of mental, emotional, relational and physical health; philosophy, politics, psychology and spirituality; as well as intercultural and the immigrant experience.

I'm a midlife woman and a serial immigrant. I write about how my immigrant experiences and emotionally tumultuous childhood shaped my identity, how I lived through life-long narcissistic abuse, how I’m redefining my sense of self, and how I’ve been healing my emotional wounds after major life transitions.

As someone who didn’t grow up in the predominant culture and who’s part of a small minority of the population where I live (currently the United States), I often feel like “the odd one out.” But I believe there’s a lot more in common among us than what's on the surface.

Because of my experience living in different cultures, I have a broad perspective that allows me to remain curious and understanding of folks who come from different backgrounds, including those who identify with marginalized segments of the population.

With practice, I've become deeply in touch with my intuition and comfortable connecting with people on issues that may carry a lot of shame in society, such as the ones listed below.

Lily Pond is a safe community for the cultural misfits, the marginalized, the highly sensitive, the immigrant and children of immigrants. The Pond mirrors the silent feelings in you, amplifies them, and gives you room to release those tears that have been held in your chest, or to ignite the fire of passion or righteous anger that you have suppressed for too long.

Hop on a lily pad and talk to me about these issues:

• Relating with people of different cultures, including intercultural marriages

• The process of acculturation and the struggle with loneliness and finding a sense of belonging

• Growing up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissistic parent (or parents)

• Childhood sexual trauma

• Narcissistic abuse in intimate relationships

• Sexual betrayal, abuse and divorce

• Caregiving for immigrant parents while handling intergenerational cultural clashes

• Menopause

• Depression, anxiety, being chronically gaslighted, and how to get on a healing path

My struggles have gifted me with insights and wisdom that a smoother and more privileged life may not have brought, and I'm happy to share what I've learned with you.

On this healing journey, may the sadness in me greet the sadness in you with dignity and compassion. May you find glimpses of hope and inspiration even in the midst of despair when you read about my struggles and resilience.

I hope that through my personal experience, you will rekindle the fire in your belly to fuel your own journey of healing from past trauma and discover your true self.

Most important of all, may we become our own alchemist in transforming our pain and suffering into the kind of deep joy that no one else can steal from us!